We all know that the week between the Conference Championship and the Super Bowl is awful. Sure, the NBA is on, and maybe the Pickleball Championships (seriously, this was on a major network last night), but honestly, who cares? Every news outlet and website is talking about a game that won’t be played for another week. If you found yourself, like me, looking for something to watch, I hope you didn’t wind up watching the Pro Bowl or NHL All Star Game.

We all tend to love the concept of All Star Weekend. The best players from the sport showcasing their skills, or so fans thought, both the NFL and NHL have managed to take that concept and make it absolutely unbearable to watch. From campy contests with stupid rules, to the actual game being a bunch of low-effort ego stroking performance, a solution is needed. The NFL and NHL need to shorten the weekends, or just cut the players a check and give them the weekend off.

Let’s begin with the Pro Bowl. This event has been slowly dying since Sean Taylor almost decapitated Brian Moorman on a fake punt in a meaningless game. Since that hit, I can’t remember a single Pro Bowl moment worth talking about. I get it, NFL players don’t want to finish a 17+ game season and then play a full contact game that means nothing.

Going to flag football wasn’t the worst idea, but honestly, does anyone want to watch the NFL’s best players playing flag football? No.

So, let’s look at other parts of the weekend that we’re sure to bring fan engagement and excitement for football’s best.

The Pro Bowl features stellar events like water balloon tosses, a dunk tank, longest drive by players who don’t play golf, lineman catching punts, and a bunch of pre-shot “best catches.” It’s a big shock that no one watches this snooze-fest. I flipped to the longest drive, thinking some players could smoke the ball off the tee, and then every player announcement was them saying they suck at golf. Why? Why does the NFL do this to us? Get a couple guys who play in the off-season, or at least won’t miss the non-moving ball. Here’s another thought, stop having events that have nothing to do with the sport, or having players do things that don’t showcase the reasons they initially made the Pro Bowl!

Now, the NFL does a couple events right. I will always enjoy watching players play dodgeball. Although most children won’t know what dodgeball is because it’s “too dangerous” for schools, those of us who played it growing up still love watching Saquon Barkley, duck, dip, dive, and dodge while throwing rockets at Minkah Fitzpatrick. The kicking events are always an enjoyable time too. Kickers rarely get to showcase their skills, especially to the extent that they can in games like kick-tac-toe. I actually enjoy events like that, where we can see just how good the players are at their craft.

If the Pro Bowl bored you, you may have thought “maybe the NHL All Star activities will be exciting, let’s check it out.” That was a mistake. If you caught the skills competitions other than fastest skater or hardest shot, you probably thought you were watching a bad version of Wipeout or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

I love when NHL players showcase their shooting, puck handling, and their ability to make incredible saves. I enjoy watching players see who is the fastest, who shoots the hardest, as well as shooting accuracy contests. So why so much hate for All Star Weekend? I’ll tell you why.

First, cut out about half of these events. Take out the “shootout” competition, and take out the goalie competition that had the worlds longest and most convoluted rules. Have a shootout contest where the goalies put in some effort and the players (not their kids) use the best moves they have. It’s not often fans will see Igor Shesterkin against Alexander Ovechkin in a shootout. So why take that away?

On top of the contests that make no sense, please stop trying to use the All Star weekend to promote the women’s side of hockey. Women’s Olympic hockey is great to watch, and I would probably watch a women-only skills competition. In the past few years though, the NHL is trying to promote it, in the worst way possible. Adding a woman to the fastest skater, only to show that the men are much faster? Instead have a woman take a shootout attempt that has been successfully attempted in NHL games at full speed, only to have it be completed at half speed while Igor is napping in net? Then, blow it up on social media, just to highlight how not-exciting it was? Just Stop.

The NBA and MLB have All Star weekends down to a science. Celebrity games. Rookie highlight games. The Home Run Derby, the Dunk Contest, the Three Point Shootout, the actual game with players mic’d up and enjoying themselves. The no-contact aspects of baseball and basketball make this easy, but you don’t see LeBron James and Kevin Durant tossing water balloons, or trying to hit golf balls during NBA All Star weekend. They actually play basketball and do basketball skills contests. Baseball players hit home runs and celebrities play softball.

I’m just glad that the most boring weekend in sports is over with. Now we can get back to watching hockey players play hockey and watching football players play football.

What a wild concept, right? Maybe next year will be better, but we’ll probably be treated to Sidney Crosby eating pie and Dalvin Cook solving a Rubik’s cube.

Have you been satisfied with the NHL All Star Weekend or NFL Pro Bowl? Let us know on Twitter @WeLikeSportzPC .

By : Drew Pappert

@forestcitysport

*Photo courtesy of DraftKings Nation*